Condi Makes Aliya- Obama Maybe

 By Jack Engelhard

 

As of this moment we don’t know who Obama has in mind for Secretary of State. For sure it won’t be Joe the Plumber. Won’t be Joe the Senator, either (Lieberman).  Let’s hope it won’t be Condi all over again. Even as we speak, there she is in Israel, for her 19th trip. From my reckoning, this makes it official. She’s made Aliya.

 

After chai, you’re an oleh.

 

I used to think that she made all those visits in order to “facilitate” the destruction of Israel. I still think so. But there’s another reason, and maybe it’s number one. She keeps going to Israel for VACATION. I’m not kidding. I mean, given a choice between, say, Darfur – places that are so filthy and dangerous – where would you go?

 

I’d go to the land flowing milk and honey.

 

(She just left and says this might be her final lap – PEACE IS AT HAND.)

 

So the million dollar question is this – Is Obama Good For The Jews? Answer: Well, he can’t be much worse than your typical Israeli politician. For lessons in extreme leftism, appeasement, capitulation, surrender, post-Zionism, he can learn from the best, the likes of any Israeli prime minister of recent vintage.

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Crooks Out, Crooks In (JFK To Obama)

By Jack Engelhard

 

Count me in on this honeymoon. I’m thrilled that what we have before us is our first African-American president. The politicking is done. I’ve had my say, you’ve had yours, and you won. I am reconciled. Besides, he’s cool, he’s hip. What’s not to like – as of the moment?

 

Reminds me of JFK. John Kennedy was exceptional for the dream, the glamour, the romance.

 

Never mind the politics.

 

In a few months Barack Obama will be in office and as Americans we have no choice but to root for him. We’re all in this together.

 

Has fate given us a man who is destined to fulfill the promise of JFK? Was it prophesied that Obama is to pick up where Kennedy left off? God asked King Solomon: “What shall I give you?” Solomon could have asked for power and riches but he asked for “an understanding heart” by which to rule the people. Nothing more. (Power and riches followed.)

 

That’s a good place to start for Obama as well – for the sake of all of us. 

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Hey, What About New Jersey?

By Jack Engelhard

 

My wagering tradition compels me to handicap ahead of time, so rather than wait for the polls to close, here are my bets even as the numbers are still being counted. I predict Obama is going to win. If not, McCain is a shoo-in. That’s my prediction. You can take it to the bank – if you still have a bank. Anyway, along with the rest of New Jersey, I am voting for one or the other. Too bad there are no exactas as at the race track where they can be coupled.

 

I will not tell you about my choice in the voting booth because you might not love me anymore. (But can we still be friends?)

 

So why am I voting? I don’t know. New Jersey is a lock. New Jersey is deep in the bag for Obama. We are a Bruce Springsteen State (though he is not MY Boss) and we are a Blue State, which is not necessarily the same as singing the blues. (I’ve often wondered about this.) The question is this: Are we really a State?

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The Boys OFF The Bus

By Jack Engelhard

 

Is vengeance coming? First, kill the messengers? Three reporters whose newspapers failed to editorially sanctify Barack Obama (opting for John McCain) have been told there’s no room at the inn or on the plane. Correspondents for the New York Post, Washington Times and Dallas Morning News have been exiled from Air Obama.

 

Already an Enemies’ List? So soon? We can only imagine what comes later. (Nixon at least waited until he got in.)

 

Obviously there will be payback upon apostates. There will be blood, so to speak. To paraphrase Rev. Wright, “The chickens will come home to roost to those who have been disloyal to Obama.” Turning once again to Rev. Wright – “Gawd damn Americans who disrespect Obama.” (Just ask Joe the Plumber.) Names will be remembered. Scores will be settled. There will be reckonings.

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The Company Man

By Jack Engelhard

 

(Originally appeared in The New York Times)

 

I work for a big company. I’m small. I’m much smaller than the company. My boss told me so himself. He said, “The company is much bigger than you.”

 

I work out of a cell. The company calls it an office but to me it’s a cell. There are no padlocks on the door, except those that I see in my mind. I could escape, but to where? Another corporation? That’s all there is. I’m a company man.

 

I do everything that I’m supposed to do, 8 hours a day, 12 months a year. I get weekends off for good behavior. I get paid once every week, whether I need the money or not.

 

I don’t make trouble. I play second base on the company softball team. I attend company picnics and parties and laugh when I’m supposed to. I don’t sexually harass female colleagues – it’s against company policy.

 

But this is a bad time of year. It’s review time. That means I have to go before my boss and have him evaluate me. This goes on, I’m told, all over the country. People like me get reviewed.

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When Bad Things Happen to Good Computers

 

By Jack Engelhard

 

Well, it finally happened. My computer crashed. All my works in progress – gone! Fortunately, most of my novels are already published and listed on Amazon and elsewhere, so that’s good, and as for my journalism, well, that’s also preserved here and all over the Web.

 

I’ll bet I’m not alone in this. This has happened to everybody. We’re all at the mercy of technology and technology is not perfect. Stuff happens.

 

For some reason I equate all this with the economy, which also crashed, and I equate it even more with something almost cosmic, that our entire civilization rests upon the mercy and the good graces of a power higher up, beyond us mortals – in other words, we are all plugged in and, just like that, someone can pull the plug and plug us out.

 

Is this religion?

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Fiction Friction, News Blues

By Jack Engelhard

 

When I heard that an obscure French-born novelist had won the Nobel Prize, I thought it must be me and I began eyeing that red Cadillac. After all, I fit all three categories. I am obscure. I am French-born. I am a novelist. Who else could it be? A man named Jean-Marie Gustav Le Clezio, that’s who. Oh well, as we say in baseball (and the economy) – wait till next year.

 

I hope Le Clezio wins us over. This is not promising. There have been no long lines for preceding Nobel champs, big names like Orhan Pamuk and Elfriede Jelinek.

 

Hemingway got the jitters when he won it and in fact he wanted no part of it due to the jinx.

 

But I’m stalling. I’ve really come here to talk about THE DEATH OF THE NOVEL. The latest to have his crack at this is columnist Kyle Smith writing in today’s New York Post (Sunday, Oct. 12). He sums it all up, in my favorite newspaper, by saying (if not in those words) that, in this fast-paced age of technology, fiction does not speak for our times.

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“In God We Trust” and That’s No Lie

By Jack Engelhard

 

Who knew it would come to this? The psalmist knew.

 

Psalm 146 says this: “Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.”

 

Princes, then as now, are people who run our lives, like politicians and titans of commerce – most of whom we trusted until some weeks ago.

 

Today we know that many of these men are beyond greed but deep into incompetence and crookedness. They’ve taken our money and run off. One crowd at one of those firms that got bailed out with our billions, well, as you know, they made themselves a party at a cost of several hundred thousand dollars. Whoopee!

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Your Money is Safer at the Racetrack

By Jack Engelhard

 

Don’t know much about the economy. Then again, neither do the people who run these things.

 

With all these banking outfits going down the drain, virtually overnight, we skipped right past Recession and went directly to Depression. Thanks, guys! Now it’s all in the hands of our Congress to save us from insolvency, which is like inviting Michael Jackson into your bedroom to babysit.

 

Don’t know much about politics, either, which puts me in the same boat with politicians.

 

On Nancy Pelosi and the bickering in the House of Representatives, we quote the sage Casey Stengal: “Doesn’t anybody know how to play this game?”

 

[Wait a minute! This Congress is controlled by the Democrats. If this is a sample of the “change” we’ve got coming, we’re in big trouble, kemosabe.]

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