Yo, Glenn Beck, Cool It On New Jersey!

By Jack Engelhard

 

I caught your show on Fox the other day, the one where you removed New Jersey from the map and I guess I was supposed to laugh but I didn’t. This is where I live and it’s as fine a place as any other in the Unites States of America – and maybe even better. Yes, I scan the headlines, too, so I know about all the arrests. I know there’s corruption.

 

Hello? From state to state, where isn’t there corruption? I could pick any state – the rest of the 49 – and name names but I won’t so as not to insult the good people who live there and who have nothing to do with pay-to-play. Where to begin? Pennsylvania, which just got through sentencing that man Fumo? New York? Does the name Eliot Spitzer ring a bell? North Dakota? How about Rob Blagojevich?

 

Let’s not even talk about Louisiana and Illinois.   

 

Sorry to be mentioning some names but I just couldn’t help myself – though, if pressed, I could mention even more.

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Hey, What About New Jersey?

By Jack Engelhard

 

My wagering tradition compels me to handicap ahead of time, so rather than wait for the polls to close, here are my bets even as the numbers are still being counted. I predict Obama is going to win. If not, McCain is a shoo-in. That’s my prediction. You can take it to the bank – if you still have a bank. Anyway, along with the rest of New Jersey, I am voting for one or the other. Too bad there are no exactas as at the race track where they can be coupled.

 

I will not tell you about my choice in the voting booth because you might not love me anymore. (But can we still be friends?)

 

So why am I voting? I don’t know. New Jersey is a lock. New Jersey is deep in the bag for Obama. We are a Bruce Springsteen State (though he is not MY Boss) and we are a Blue State, which is not necessarily the same as singing the blues. (I’ve often wondered about this.) The question is this: Are we really a State?

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