By Jack Engelhard
The last time I read anything good about Israel (meaning Jews worldwide as well as the nation itself) was when Sandy Koufax pitched for the Dodgers and especially when he sat out the first game of the 1965 World Series because it fell on Yom Kippur. So we have to go back to the 1960s to find anything to celebrate.
Ehud Olmert says he’s “tired of winning.” I’m tired of losing. I’m tired of Ehud Olmert.
Most of my friends, for example, have stopped reading Then New York Times but I continue to do so (on the Web) because it’s a dirty job and somebody has to do it and besides, someone has to do the work that Americans don’t want to do. I also watch the networks, even CNN and even MSNBC and even, yes, the BBC, in case someone slips up and says something wonderful about Israel, or America.
This has not yet happened but I’m waiting. One day a newscaster will report on Israel and quit referring to it (all of it) as “occupied territory.” That same day, perhaps, Olmert will remember that Israel is a sovereign nation and on that fine day he will admit that Gaza was a blunder and submit that Jerusalem will never be divided. This has also not happened and I am still waiting.
Meantime, I’m easing off and joining whatever group there is for recovering news addicts. I’m watching the news only in spots, between commercials.
I watch football instead and I will even watch lacrosse and that game where people use brooms (curling, anyone?) since there is small risk here of bumping into Hanan Ashrawi or Christiane Amanpour or Chris Matthews or Keith Olbermann. They keep switching chairs over there at MSNBC (I understand that the same’s been happening at Haaretz), but the same people are still in place and as Barack Obama will tell you, you can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig.
My bullshoot meter pretty much reached its limit, months ago, when Obama said that he never heard his preacher damn America. There are Americans who actually believe this but then again there are Americans who bought the Edsel. Now my bullshoot meter is over the limit when he says he did not target Sarah Palin with his pig/lipstick crack.
Oh come on! Did you (apologies to Obama devotee Chris Matthews) – did you feel a chill run up your leg at that whopper?
Friends, Romans, Countrymen, it’s not the ISSUES. It’s the CHARACTER, Stupid. Issues come and go. A person’s character remains steadfast, more or less, and here McCain wins, but it’s not quite that simple or maybe it is. As I’ve got it figured, both candidates agree, or waffle the same, on everything.
McCain favors off-shore drilling, but without much enthusiasm. Ditto Obama. McCain wants to secure our borders but not exactly. Likewise Obama. McCain will not bring our troops home until we’re done in Iraq. Obama wants to bring our troops home, but only after consulting with the military. Do you see a difference? I don’t.
Where were we? I lost my place. Right, Sandy Koufax. So you’re telling me that we also celebrated the Six Day war, Entebbe and Osirak. So? What else?
What else ya got? I come up with blanks.
The latest on Jerusalem is that Obama supports an undivided Jerusalem on Monday but wants it divided on Thursday. McCain? I think, though not sure, that he promises to move the US Embassy to Jerusalem. Then again, every presidential candidate says that and keeps his promise until he gets in office. That’s what I mean by issues, that they mean nothing, or that they mean one thing before and other thing after.
Obama keeps selling us the Brooklyn Bridge and I’ve got a screenplay to sell but nobody to sell it to, in case you haven’t heard. Says here, in the Financial Times, that Abu Dhabi is prepared to invest more than a billion dollars in a takeover, or an encroachment of Hollywood. Listen, during the filming of “Lawrence of Arabia,” there was that scene in the tent where a man read from the Koran. This was an actor, but a mullah had to be in attendance to make sure that it was all done according to Sharia. Get used to this.
These days Leon Uris could never get “Exodus” filmed or published. We know about Random House.
I don’t care if Obama is Muslim or Arab or whatever but can I get me a commander in chief who knows how to snap a salute? Is that asking too much?
Interesting (Freudian?) slip of the tongue when, in Oregon, Obama declared that he intends to become president of all our “57 states.” Last check reveals that we have 50 states. However, he may have subconsciously, and coincidentally, been referring to The Organization of the Islamic Conference. This is where you will find exactly 57 member states. (Did anyone else catch this?)
So far as McCain/Palin, is it too late to reverse this ticket with Palin on top? During the recent Eagles game, I went against my better judgment, switched channels, and found that Olmert is still resigning and is still in office. He can keep resigning like this for years and, to borrow the title from a Julia Roberts movie, during his “resignation” he can continue “Sleeping With The Enemy.”
Two choices — we stop following the news, give up in other words, or we start fighting. I’m for fighting. I say we start playing ball – with a bat. We did it before, when men were men and women were pit bulls. What I’m going to do, I think, especially during this Yom Kippur season, is stick to the Sports pages. Sandy Koufax is bound to show up there again. There’s nothing else to root for.
Koufax pitched 40 shutouts, four no-hitters and one perfect game. He is ranked as perhaps the greatest pitcher of all time — and he never got tired of winning.
Jack Engelhard’s latest novel, THE BATHSHEBA DEADLINE, now in paperback, places journalism at the center of our war on terror. Engelhard wrote the international bestselling novel INDECENT PROPOSAL that was translated into more than 22 languages and turned into a Paramount motion picture starring Robert Redford and Demi Moore. He can be reached at his website www.jackengelhard.com.